Tears Are Not Enough
by ssxgurl21
Summary: Lily is unconsolable and upset, on the verge of doing something terrible, can someone save her form her own brooding thoughts and unstable mentality? Rated R for Self-Destruction and Dark Thoughts, as well as some Hints of Slash. ONESHOT FIC. Read and Rvi


TEARS ARE NOT ENOUGH

Its a oneshot, people. Thats all. Review on your way out, por favor.

Lily Evans was sitting in the common room one night, relaxing after a tough day of school. She was trying very hard to get over James Potter, who had been nagging her all day during class to date him. He was so inscensant it made her slightly sick.

There was a small tap on the window that was barely heard over the excited and exhausted chatter from all of the Gryffindor students. Lily rose form her armchair and walked swiftly over to the window, peering out to the gently falling snowflakes. The moonlight shined down onto the snowy fields, making the ground sparkle and shimmer.

A small, quick owl zoomed around outside, and tapped again on the window. Lily pulled open the window, and the owl set down on the sill and held out one of his long, skinny legs. She read her name addressed on the front in scarlet red letters, so she detatched the paper form the owl, dropping a small silver sickle into it's pouch.

Lily rolled open the letter and took her seat again. Unnoticed, she opened the letter with wary and tired hands and began to immediatley read.

About a minute and a half later, the piece of parchment gently fell from Lily's hands and flew gracefully down to the floor, landing gently on the scuffed marble floor of the common room.

Something inside the pit of her stomach twinged, and her face was numb and expressionless.

Lily Evans knew that letters delivered form speed owls to the student's common rooms bore bad news, but this was just a shock that she wasn't ready for.

"Oh you got a letter... What's the matter, Lily?" asked Alice Longbottom from her armchair, scooping up the letter and holding it out to Lily before looking back down at her homework.

"Nothing." said Lily blankly, her eyes fixated at the dancing, crackling flames of the happy fire that burned steadily in the fireplace.

Her brain suddenly snapped into action, racing rapidly as thoughts cluttered her mind.

The letter that Alice was holding out for her to take was more than she could handle. It was a brief and somber letter, addressing the recent fate of her parents.

Lord Voldermort, the almightly Dark Lord, was rising in power. Everyone knew that. But the most recent news was more gripping and personal to Lily. Voldermort had stolen the innocent lives of Mr. Michael Evans and his wife, Mrs. Scarlet Evans.

_Put to death by Avada Kedava_... Lily whispered, reciting the letter while slowly rising from her armchair.

"What's up, Lils? Coming over to give me a lap dance!?" chuckled James Potter from the other side of the room. She looked over at him, her eyes on the verge of tipping out tears, and quickly tore her glance away. She gruffly shoved the letter in her messenger bag along with a couple of textbooks, and rushed out of the common room, turning the corner quickly and running up the marble staircase.

"Are you late for a hot date or something?" cackled the portrait for the Fat Lady as Lily rushed away.

Once she was well out of sight, she slowed her run to more of a slow drag of her feet, placing them one in front of the other with much effort. The dams opened, and tears freely flooded down her face. She gasped and clutched the wall for support as she shuffled down the hallway towards the only place that she could call her own, the roof.

Choking back the tears, she clamored through the wall. It was a secret spot she had discovered two years ago when she was a fifth year, and it was the only place she could go and be assured peace and privacy.

She stumbled up the steep set of stairs and clamored out onto the roof, sitting down on the snowcapped roof tiles.

Reluctantly, she pulled her coat tighter around her and sniffled loudly. She was usually so calm and composed, her emotions were never showed. She had no one to show them to, after all, she had no true friends. As pathetic as it sounds, Lily didn't mind it. Except at times like these when she was just so overloaded.

Her daily rendevous with James really took a toll on her stress and tolerance levels, it was all fun to him, but to her it was much more.

And now her mom and dad, the only one's who would actually talk to her, were gone. Forever.

Her saving grace was the small, thin razor blade that she pulled out of her pocket. She rolled up her sleeve and felt a gust of cold air rush by her, ruffling her wavy and vapid red hair as she ran the small scrap of metal down her arm, piling a thin, red, scar among all of the others.

All of her worries seemed to flow right out of her, leaving only a trail of blood.

But this time it didn't seem to help solve her problems as it did the previous times. It just pained her already crushed body and withered soul even more.

She pushed herself warily up to her feet, and stood b the edge of the roof. Her feet slid slowly form under her, and a thought came her way.

"The only thing that stopped me before was the fact of how sad my parents would have been, but now they are gone and nobody would give a damn if I followed in their footsteps..." she whispered while straightening her body and jumping off in preparation for a seven hundred feet flight.

"Evans!" gasped a voice form behind her as a strong grip clenched around her upper arm, breaking her fall and pulling her back onto the roof.

"Potter, get the **fuck** away form me!" she snapped while struggling under his iron like grip.

"If I was James, I could understand you wanting to jump off that ledge." said the voice of Sirius Black. Lily writhed around to see his long, lean lips were twisted into a disapproving grin, his elegant black hair matted and dotted with snowflakes.

"How did you find me?" asked Lily. "I was supposed to come here alone and die here alone, okay? Nobody cares about me so don't pretend to." she snapped.

"Don't be so sure." said Sirius as he eased himself into a sitting position, dragging her down too.

"How the fuck can you say that? Do you even know why I wanted to jump?" she prompted icily.

"Well yeah, James is such an ass. I would have slit my wrists and drowned myself in warm water long before this if I was you." said Sirius calmly. "He really can't see into other people's emotions well."

"And you think you can? My parents fucking died. Voldermort killed them, that's why I left. And no one noticed." said Lily as her nerves eased a little. Sirius loosened his grip on her arm.

"I cared enough to follow, didn't I." he said softly, brushing some snowy red hair out of her face, her clear and porcelain like skin stained with overrun makeup and salty tears.

The fresh snow clung to Lily's eyelashes as she blinked a few times before settling against Sirius slightly, trying to warm up her cold body. He felt her trust and wrapped an arm around her back, gently brushing her shoulder in a calming way.

"Thanks, Sirius." whispered Lily as her irregular breathing soothed itself. His warmth and just the slight touch of his arm calmed Lily in ways that she couldn't even describe to herself.

"I don't mean to be cliche, but I have admired you from afar for a while now." he said slowly, the words sinking into Lily. Sirius's finger swirled around her shoulder, just caressing her gently.

Lily's lips curved into a slight smile, and she cuddled herself into him. Sirius's mere presence and his light touch made her faint. The snowflakes drifted and swirled, but she couldn't feel the cold.

"You can only be helped if you let others in..." he whispered to her while gently running a finger along the scars on her exposed arm. She breathed deeply as the pain and her conscious mind slipped away...


End file.
